Warrior Dash April 2012

To be the best you can be; that is always the goal!  In running, setting a personal best time becomes harder and harder with age.  When the going gets tough, change the rules.  We did - instead of the status quo, the same old 5k runs, we took on a new challenge - 15 obstacles in 3.2 miles.  And guess what?  When you do something new for the first time, it is always a PR - a Personal Best!

Todd Snyder gave us a compelling and dramatic talk about stopping someone from being bullied during our session 7 class.  I would like to share with you the email he received from David, who was the subject and target during school.  Thank you Todd for sharing your experiences with us!

David’s Story - his email:

In honor of Spirit Day, I'll be wearing purple tomorrow to help bring awareness to the Stop The Bullying Campaign. But today, I want to tell you a story about why it's important. So, if you have a moment, please stop and read this post. I understand that people will have strong feelings about this story. That's ok. So do I. After all, it's my story. I want you to understand that I both loved and trusted my parents, and I still do. I honestly believe that if they could have tilted the world on its axis to save me, they'd have found a way. And I believe that more than once, they tried.

This story isn't about blame. This story is to make you aware of what can happen. This story is to open your eyes. This story is true. I'd like you to imagine for a moment, that I was a Very Happy child. That's what mom tells me, and I sort of remember that. Things went good early on. There was no school, days were sunny, and I played a lot. But life goes on.

By the time I was in 3rd grade, "different" was an understatement. I stopped doing my homework so I could get detention so I couldn't be the designated "Queer" in the recess game of "Smear the Queer." And I never told anyone.

When I was in 5th Grade, I got hit, repeatedly, with an Aluminum Baseball Bat because I was wasn't playing the cool games at recess. And I never told anyone. When I was in 7th Grade, I got spit on every day in Gym Class. I told the teacher. And he did nothing. I didn't tell anyone else. Later on in that same class, I got my forehead smashed into the edge of a sidewalk and needed stitches. I didn't have a choice, so I told someone. A kid got detention. And I got told it wouldn't have happened if I stood up for myself.

Later that month, I kicked the kid who did it right in the nose. I got suspended. And I got told that violence wasn't the answer. I guess he told someone.

In Eighth grade, 3 weeks in a row, I had to wait in the locker room, naked, while my clothes got washed in the Home Ec room, because I got peed on. I told someone...and they told me to bring extra clothes. Later that year, I got rolled down a staircase in a trashcan, naked. I told someone. And nothing happened.

In 9th Grade, I got thrown off a second floor balcony. And I never told anyone. My entire Freshman year, I spent every lunch period trying to find a way through the lunch room that didn't include my food getting spit on. I never found one. And I never told anyone. I threw up every day of my freshman year, before Earth Science, to avoid the lockers on the 3rd floor...because I fit in them. And I never told anyone.

I was hospitalized that year for losing weight, vomiting, and not eating. I had to tell someone. And they didn't believe me. I was cornered in a room and threatened with rape.

And I never told anyone. In the middle of the night, I still wake up sometimes, too scared to breathe. When I walk down the hall, I look over my shoulder. I don't sit with my back to doors. And I don't tell anyone why. Some of you are thinking that it's just some schools... but I went to NINE. Some of you are thinking that it's because I didn't stand up for myself... but I did. Some of you are thinking that it's because I didn't tell anyone... but I did. Some of you have solutions that worked for you. Some of you have solutions that might have worked for me. Some of you have an answer. Some of you have questions.

But all of us together have an obligation. An obligation to make sure this never happens to a child again. We have an obligation to protect everyone's children. It doesn't matter how different they are. It doesn't matter how they spend their recess. It doesn't matter what they wear. What matters is keeping our children safe.

Tomorrow, as a sign that we want to stop the bullying, we have the option to wear purple. I'll be wearing mine. Will you?

Vince Lombardi once said that "Perfection is not attainable,
but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." As we look ahead to what comes after graduation, we can rest easy in the confidence that we have all gained from "chasing perfection" while building stronger relationships with those who matter to us.  In learning that we can become excellent at what we do, we strive to make our world a better place, and in doing so, we open the doors to those goals and dreams that will fulfill us.  


Together, we learned that we all have things in common and that life's struggles are not only unique to us.  Individually, we learned that we could move outside our comfort zone and take control of our own destiny despite outside influences.  


May each of you continue to discover, explore and enjoy your new freedom of expression in everything you do!


-David

Congratulations to our Session 8 award winners!

New Dale Carnegie Class Starts on April 25th


We have a new date for the start of our next Dale Carnegie class; Wednesday, April 25th, at "Ottawah University", located at 10020 N 25th Ave, Phoenix, Az 85029.  Make up schedules will be available in our graduating class for those who have missed one or more sessions.

Viktor Frankl once said that "life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives." As we focus our energies on both celebrating our achievements and looking ahead to new frontiers, we can begin to see the forming of habits that lead to continuing growth and an expansion of our abilities. The fuel for this change can be summed up in one word - "motivation!"

We have the tools to change our lives and all we need is to keep the motivation to climb to new heights, build better relationships with those we know and love, and create more opportunities than is handed to us by life itself.

Let me tell you about a class member.  Her name is Tiffany Carson, and she was in my class almost 10 years ago, but I will always remember her.  She was like many class members, shy at first, but with a driving motivation to get over it.  She did, with flying colors!  You will remember our session where everyone taught the class how to do something in 4 or 5 easy steps.  She showed us her version of goal setting - "Tiffany Carson's Excellent Adventure!"

Simply put, list five dreams that you might like to accomplish in your lifetime.  For me, I included things like "travel in space", "run the Boston marathon", "see the Titanic from a sub", and "visit the set of a Startrek movie".  Yes, they were hard dreams, but the point was that Tiffany got us all to think in terms of hard dreams.  I achieved one that very year - the Boston Marathon!  Each time I achieve something on the list, it opens the door for a new one to be added.

Tiffany, you showed us all that we should "Think BIG" with our goals and dreams!  Thank you!

Now you too can create "the list"; just print the form below and fill in your name and your dreams!

Trivia time:  In 1938, this board game was created and sold.

Based upon the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People", this game takes players into a number of  human relation situations.  They have to "talk" their way out, with a speech that is critiqued by the other players.

There will be an original of this game displayed at our "graduation" this Wednesday night!

Graduation is only a concept.  In real life every day you graduate.  Graduation is a process that goes on  until the last day of your life.  If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference.  ~Arie Pencovici

Benjamin Franklin knew the power of the three "C's" when he said: “I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.”

If we can simply stop criticizing, condemning or complaining, we will heal past relationships and make new friends.  Our influence, which is a measure of the trust and respect others are willing to give us, will go up.  And people will be attracted to us and want to get to know us better.

Let's start today!

Reading Contest #2!

The first three people who answer these two questions correctly will get a one-of-kind Dale Carnegie collectable:


1. Principle: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly


Marge Jacob convinced some construction workers to cleanup after themselves after working on some additions to her home.  What did she do to motivate her workers?


2. Principle: Let the other person save face


When General Electric needed to remove Charles Steinmetz,  a genius when it came to electricity, but a failure as the head of the calculating department, what did they do to avoid offending him?

 

One of my favorite quotes by Norman Rice is "dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light." Just a simple gesture of kindness — what possible difference could it make?  


If we look back upon our lives, two things stand out in our experiences - the times we were given appreciation and the times we were criticized.  Which of these lifted you up?  
I still remember a compliment by my 4th grade History teacher when he said that he saw an excitement and passion within me.  He asked me to write a paper on the one thing that excited and inspired me that day - and he gave extra credit to anyone in the class who wanted to do the same.  


I still have it - a scrapbook on the space program with clippings from Apollo 14.  It gave me pleasure to write it in a history class; a class that had nothing to do with the space program, but was led by a motivator who saw the potential to grow someone beyond their boundaries.


If you think we can Win Friends and Influence People using the principles we have been taught, the answer is: yes we can!  If you think we can forever change someone's life for the better, the answer is - absolutely - and this is why it is so important for us to learn to give honest, sincere appreciation to those who work so hard to help us be happy, make a living, or simply serve us in the many capacities that people do.


We will learn the simple formula in Session 7 and it may be a class that will change your life!

New Carnegie Class will not be starting on March 28th

The Dale Carnegie class that was scheduled to start on March 28th has been postponed.  We will let everyone know as soon as we have a new starting date, so that class members can make up sessions missed.  To graduate with your class, you cannot miss more than one session.  Any sessions missed can be made up in the new Carnegie class, once we have a schedule of dates for the classes.

All class members who attend all eight sessions will get a gold 100% sticker on their diploma!  All class members who make up their missed sessions will also get the same 100% sticker to add to their diploma.

Our Creative Class

When a team gets together and puts their creative minds to work, there are no limits to what they can achieve!

Question for you: Have you ever been in need of suggestions on how to solve a problem, and called a meeting, but didn't get very many responses to help you out?  

Solution for you: Use the following "nominal group technique" to get a reluctant and sometimes shy group of people to contribute ideas when brainstorming!  How does this work?  It is simple  Just follow the steps below:

1. Get one sticky pad for each person who will be at your meeting.

2. Create a good problem statement; one that is clear, easily understood and can generate ideas on how to solve it just by reading it.

3. Give everyone a sticky pad and a pencil.

4. Project the problem statement on the wall and give everyone ten minutes to write down as many ideas as they can, one per sticky.

You will generate more ideas and suggestions in ten minutes through this method, than in 10 hours asking people to raise their hands and volunteer their ideas.

Why?

Because you've leveled the playing field, and remove the three "C"'s - people will not be afraid to voice their suggestion through this anonymous process, and nobody will be criticized, condemned or complained about.

Here is the solution to the puzzle; and hence the recommendation to "think outside the box".  For every problem under the sun, there are many solutions to choose from.

Congratulations Shane Keoghan - our Human Relations Award winner from Session 5!  (Remember that these principles work with children as well as adults - and don't forget to eat your vegetables!)

We are ON TARGET!


As we crossed that imaginary boundary into the second half of the Dale Carnegie course, everyone is still on target for our April 4 graduation as a class.   One the great side-benefits of taking this course is the people you meet in the class - they are, in many cases, people that you would not ordinarily come in contact with in your daily day-to-day life.  The shared experiences in the course give all of us an expanded and rich view of the world from the many diverse points of view and backgrounds. Long after you have forgotten your instructor's name, you will remember the people who conquered their fears and build their confidences along side of you.

The Importance of "Paying it Foward"

I've fixed many flats for people stranded on the side of the road.  I grew up helping people who had car trouble and never asked for anything in return.  I started this back in college, when it was me, stranded, on the side of the road.  My cars back in college were clunkers, but they taught me how to creatively fix them when needed.  

 

I can drive on almost any of the highways on the way out of town and point to spots on the side of the road where someone who needed help got it from me.  


Once in Tempe, I pulled off the freeway onto the shoulder and started helping a lady change her tire.  A police patrol car pulled up behind us, lights flashing.  The officer walked up and asked us what had happened.  The lady pointed to her tire and said that she had had a flat.  Puzzled, the officer turned to me and asked me what I was doing there.  I said that I'd stopped to help.  I think he was a bit shocked; he didn't say a word for a moment, then his face lit up in a smile and he said, "I'll keep my lights on and make sure you are safe.  Carry on, and thanks."  


When people offer to pay me, or give me something, I always answer them with the phrase, "No thanks - just pay if forward.  Find someone who needs a hand, and lend it." 


Mark Fountain is "paying it forward" this week - he send me a link to this article on "wowing" our customers.  Here is the article for everyone to enjoy!

Thank you Mark!  


The Value in Wowing Your Customers
by Fred Reichheld
A friend of mine in Dallas loves the local Chick-fil-A restaurant. The reason? An employee named Jose once asked my friend's three-year-old to help with the mopping — and proceeded to give the boy a ride around the restaurant on the mop. For my friend, this was a "wow!" experience, the kind of out-of-the-ordinary event that you want to tell people about — and that inspires you to recommend the business that provided it.


One of my favorite examples of this happened at Rackspace, the managed hosting and cloud computing company. An employee on the phone with a customer during a marathon troubleshooting session heard the customer tell someone in the background that they were getting hungry. As she tells it, "So I put them on hold, and I ordered them a pizza. About 30 minutes later we were still on the phone, and there was a knock on their door. I told them to go answer it because it was pizza! They were so excited."


I'd have been pretty excited, too, if I were that hungry customer. Another "wow!" moment.
Maybe you noticed something about these wows: They don't cost much. I call them "frugal wows." A company that brings a smile to the face of its customers in this manner builds a huge reservoir of goodwill and positive word of mouth at very little expense.


Why would an employee make that kind of a gesture? No doubt the individuals involved are good-hearted folks. Doing well by others makes them happy. But there are plenty of equally good-hearted people in other companies who would never think to offer something extra to a customer. It just wouldn't occur to them to go beyond their usual duties.


What distinguishes Chick-fil-A and Rackspace is that both companies have created what might be called a "Golden Rule" culture. Employees treat customers as they would like to be treated if they were in the customers' shoes. Rackspace calls it"Fanatical Support" and views it as a cornerstone of the company's competitive advantage. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy says, "We strive to deliver something for which there is unlimited demand — being treated with honor and respect."


Both companies regularly survey customers using the Net Promoter system. They disseminate the scores and responses throughout the organization. They follow up with unhappy customers, and they make a point of acting on the feedback they receive. In other words, they take their commitment seriously.


So it's hardly surprising that employees of these companies would come up with imaginative ways to wow the people they serve. It isn't only their own good-heartedness or their personal commitment to the Golden Rule — they know that's what their employer values as well. And they know that their actions will ripple outward through the recommendations their customers provide.


Barbara Talbott, the retired head of marketing for the Four Seasons, tells the story of acts of intelligent kindness: a pot of tea delivered gratis to the room of a guest with a bad cold, a vaporizer for a mother with a croupy child, and so on.


Her point is that if you hire good employees, they will seek out opportunities to be kind. They know that when the line at the front desk is five deep, then they must be intelligent and move the line expeditiously, but if there is no crowd, then that is the time to add a little flare and conversation.


All this sheds light on the ongoing conversation about employee happiness. Most people are happiest when they get a chance to do something that others truly value — when they can act according to their best instincts. More and more companies are making sure that they support those instincts with the right team structures, leaders, tools, and training. And they put in place systems that give employees immediate feedback about how they have enriched a customer's life — or why they fell short and how to fix it.


For an employee, that support is likely to mean a chance to make a real difference in the life of a customer. How fitting that the employee's company gains from this as well.

As we move into areas that are outside our comfort zone, we grow into a more flexible person.  Take a risk and think "outside the box" when you approach some of the more challenging problems everyone in life has to face.


Here's a good analogy; a puzzle.


Take a look at the dots below.  If you put a pen down on one of the dots and drew four straight lines, you can connect all of the dots without lifting your pen.


Give it a try - and remember - think outside the box!  

“Life is rarely what we expect it to be, but we need to look for the lillies. We need to do what brings us joy and what gives us a sense of purpose.” ~ Sally Meyerhoff


On March 8, 2011, one year ago today, the running community lost a world class athlete, friend, and inspirational person - Sally Meyerhoff, age 27.  We celebrate her live and her achievements, and in many ways, we have changed the way we look at life.  


Sally worked with me for a short time as a volunteer on the Arizona Road Racer's board.  She had a gift for speed, and won the PF Chang's Rock & Roll marathon in 2011.  It was an honor to have her helping out the running community.


The last time I ran a race with her was in Tempe in February, 2011.  It was called the "skirt chaser" race - the women got a five minute head start over the men in this 5k distance.  At mile 1, I was heading out, when the lead woman, race back past me, followed closely by Sally, about a block behind.  I yelled out, "Go get her Sally!", and she smiled and disappeared around the bend.  She set a record - 16:33 and won the race in the last 800 yards.  


It is seldom that someone with the talent to win a marathon distance can also do well in the short races.  Sally had many talents - and after qualifying for the olympic trials, we all knew our Arizona home down girl was going places.


Sadly, it was not to be - only a few weeks later, while training for an Ironman, she was struck and killed while cycling in Maricopa.  


So if you happen to make it out to a race sometime, you may find a number of guys wearing knee high pink socks - to honor our friend, and our inspiration - Sally - for these will forever be known as "Sally socks".

Congratulations to everyone!  We had a great "break out" session, with lots of fun, animation and spirit!

Here’s a Reading Contest!!!

The first three correct responses to the two questions below, taken from this week’s reading, will receive a unique one-of-a-kind Dale Carnegie bookmark:

Question 1: Eddie Snow, a sponsor of our courses in Oakland, once phoned a store to rent a bow.  Instead of renting a bow, he was persuaded to do what?

Hint: In Part III, it is in the chapter called “What everybody wants”.

Question 2: Joyce Norris applied this principle successfully to motivate her student Babette to do what before taking another piano lesson?

Hint: In Part III, it is in the chapter called “The Secret of Socrates”.

As we move from the first set of Dale Carnegie Principles to the second set, we extend our influence to others and start on the path to becoming a stronger leader. Leaders lead by example, supporting and building the people around them. 

“Winners are people with definite purpose in life.”

In 1912, Dale Carnegie started teaching public speaking at the 125th street YMCA in New York.  The building is gone now, but I found these amazing old photos of the original "classroom" for the young Dale Carnegie.

Dale Carnegie was an avid Lincoln fan.  He collected his signatures, a chair that once sat in the Oval office during his administration, and even a casting of his face and hands.  He wrote two books about Lincoln; the first, he decided not to publish, and the second, "Lincoln, the Unknown", he published in 1932.   Here is a picture of one of only a handful of copies of his first book on Lincoln:

I have a first edition copy of "Lincoln, the Unknown", signed by Dale Carnegie.  It is a treasure.


Abraham Lincoln once said, "All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind." 

I've always liked this quote:


"Never say you don't have enough time... You have exactly the same number of hours per day That were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas JeffersonAnd Albert Einstein" 


People need to "make time" for the things that are important, and taking time to get the most out of life requires us to live a more intentional life, a life where we are proactive, instead of reactive.


As we move into session 3 of the Dale Carnegie Course, set aside a time to review what we have done, and prepare for what we are about to do.  Remembering names, becoming a better conversationalist, making a good first impression in how we say our own name, or simply being more enthusiastic in the way we greet others can go a long way in making better relationships or good first impressions.


Remember to work on our commitment to applying a few of the first 9 human relations principles with someone that you want a better relationship with.  Come to class with victory on your lips - share the experience of trying out these new tools and let us know how you did.  Leave us with an action to take, based upon your experience and let us know the benefit if we take that action.


We've begun to build confidence; now we are going to build courage!


-David

Congratulations to our first two award winners from Session 2!

Breakthrough award goes to Cheri Larson!

Outstanding Performance award goes to Todd Snyder!

We will continue to post award winners on this blog each week!

Here's a photo from deep down in Havasupai - the river that gurgled and wound its way through the campground where I was camping.  At night, there were thousands of stars and on a moonless night, satellites clearly crossed the sky from horizon to horizon.

Forward to our Instructor Manual:

"I beg of instructors not to think of this as a public speaking course. Think of it as a course in destroying fear and building self-confidence.  Think of it as a course in human relations. Think of it as a new way of life.  For it is often just that. When people banish fear and develop confidence, their ceilings will become higher and their visibility unlimited." - Dale Carnegie

Any goal worth achieving can be achieved through visualization and mapping out a clear path from here to there.  Running a marathon may seem huge when thinking about the distance of 26.2 miles, but it is not so huge when thinking about a training schedule that starts with 1 mile at the end of the first week, then 2 miles at the end of the second, and so on, until what was unthinkable becomes possible.

In this class, we will start small, and build from week to week on the skills we learn in class and practice outside of class.   Soon, that which seems huge will become possible!

Tip: In the back of your green binder is booklet called "Remembering Names".  This summarizes the steps we practiced in class.  Page 1.6 in your binder reminds us to focus on people as individuals, rather than focusing on using tricks to learn their names.  We want to become better listeners and build better relationships.

This is a photo I took on the trail up from the Grand Canyon a couple of years ago - these two rams were posing for all of us as we looked up at this amazing sight!

Happy Friday!  It's a great day to be living in Arizona; we must enjoy this wonderful weather before it disappears!

This blog is for you - our current class - exclusively!  There will be tidbits, helpful hints, and information that will help you become successful in your goals.

Here is a summary of the Conversation Stack of items - please remember the questions that you can ask when reminded of these items, and explore this during this weekend and the days before our next session - you will be amazed at the results!

1. Lightning
2. Name plate
3. House
4. Windows with children playing
5. Chimney with a hand wearing a "workman's glove"
6. The gloved hand is holding onto an airplane
7. The right wing has a rotating tennis racket instead of an engine
8. The left wing has a light bulb, flashing on and off.

We practiced name-remembering techniques:

Listen - to the name
Impression - get a good impression of the person, while thinking of the name
Repetition - repeat the name in your head, and use it in conversation with the person
Appearance - associate the name with something that is tangible, such as another person with the same name, or a business described by the name, or an action that the name brings out.

Here are pictures with names attached; please let me know if you have any changes for me to make:

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon--instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” --Dale Carnegie 

Dale Carnegie, with his latest book - "How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age"

Now, more than ever, Dale Carnegie's wisdom is needed to connect people effectively.  We have many more methods of communicating with each other; Skype, Twitter, Blogging, Facebook, email and Linked'In, to name a few.  Yet we fail to capitalize sometimes on this - we say much, but mean little, or we say too little, and we fail to reach our audience.  This new book, coming out in Dale Carnegie's 100th year, is a modern tool to help us utilize time-tested Dale Carnegie principles in the modern era.

Dale Carnegie once said that "you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people, than in two years of trying to get other people interested in you".  Wise words!  Would you rather be surrounded by people asking for help, or people who would stop at nothing to help you?  Helping others achieve their goals is a surefire way to achieve yours, and the rewards that come from focusing our energy on others is immense.  Be the change that the world needs, be the solution and not the problem, and in return, people will genuinely like you for who you are - a giver, not a taker.